Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment

You might say I need to read the whole series before I review, as I've done with previous books, but I can tell you right now that won't be neccecary. I won't be reading any more of Maximum Fail. Having heard the hype about these books, and had my friends beg me to read them, I at last capitulated to find...major disappointment. The charecters I liked, but the rest of it? Yuck.
The plot moved fast, as everyone said. It was way too fast. There was barely time to absorb and think over one idea before a whole new plot line was coming in. Rescuing Angel or the trip to New York could have been sufficient on their own. And there were a lot of things that seemed to just pop up when convenient. Like Nudge's power. What the hell? Where did it come from? How could she have never realized it before? And it comes into being at exactly the moment the need it? That was so cheesy. And Dr. Martinez was real nice and all, but Patterson is clueless if he thinks you'd find a person who's really like that in the world. You come across an apparent run-away kid with wings and a bullet wound and you TELL NO ONE? Who does that? Honestly, she's a bad mother if she leaves Max out there all on her own. Their breakout from the school seemed very rushed and poorly plotted. If Max could unlock Angel's cage without a key, it stands to reason she could have gotten them all out earlier.
The writing was horrible. It was the worst writing style I've read since Twilight. It felt like I was reading a book meant for fifth graders, but with cursing. I HATED it. Short, choppy sentances are fine if they suit a purpose. That's ALL James Patterson wrote! His chapters were also too short, that bothered me a lot. His lack of description left me to try and puzzle out their surroundings on my own, while I struggled to keep track of the plot points.
Erasers? Really? 'The School'? 'The Institute'? NUDGE? Could there be less creative names in a book? Put some effort into your writing, Patterson! Names are a really imporant part of a story! Gasman? That one drove me nuts, but not as much as NUDGE. Nudge is a VERB. Not a name, by a long shot.
The dialogue. Max's dialogue felt very forced and staged, not at all natural. How many fourteen year olds call other kids 'lamby'? Or 'my baby'? What the cuss? Her sarcasm in the narroration was funny at times, but went over the top. It got tiresome. I'd also like to say that Total is the most annoying animal to ever walk the Earth. He shows up at th end of book one and I loathe him. I'd like to fly up to Flock height and drop him.
The Fax. Okay, I totally see Max and Fang as good friends. I like Fang. And then suddenly, out of the blue, with no warning at all, she kisses him? I'm going to have to say it once more: What the hell? Where did that come from? We had no idication that she was any better friends with Fang than any of the others, nor was there ever any sign of attraction between them. They just have no chemistry! The kiss was awkward, misplaced and poorly written.
The Erasers in generally. They're made out to be these bad-ass wolf-men that are super-scary, but they get beaten by a group of BIRD hybrids every single time! Not only are they complete wusses, they pop out of no where, get their butts kicked, then hop back into their van and drive away. What kind of a crappy wolf-mix does that? If I were half wolf, I'd dole out some pain to those wimpy birdies! Secondly, despite the fact that this is set in modern day times, they fight with CLAWS and FANGS. Yes, that's right. Fisticuffs are used to apprehend their "totally unique recombinent life forms". Apparently this massive facility can afford helicopters, but not tranquilizer darts or guns. This is a HUGE hole in the story, and it really detracts from the action, knowing the Flock isn't in any real danger.
Overall, Patterson started out with some good charecters and a cool idea, and then dropped the ball, majorly. I had mused over them in the bookstore several times, as they sounded interesting. I am so glad I didn't spend money on these. I don't reccoment these AT ALL. However, there are some manga adaptions, which I actually quite enjoyed. There the fast plot fit the cartoony style and there was a great deal less of Max's lame dialogue and excessive sarcasm. The art was also very cool. The Maximum Ride movie is slated to come out soon, and as it's directed by the same person who did the first two Twilight movies, I think we can expect another pile of garbage on that.